I’m not one who usually divulges about their personal life on the interwebs unless of course I’m on Facebook but many of you don’t have my Facebook. However there is one aspect of my life (besides fa-fa-fa-fashion) that I’m compelled to blog about and that’s my love life. You see both my fashion alter ego and my love life are some how intertwined. To put the rumours to rest Josh Beech and I are not an item and Lucas Ossendrijver was never a former ex. Hahaha! (JOKE). In reality my current partner is perhaps the reason why I’m working in fashion. He believed in me from the start and directed me to follow my dreams no matter how high. The “odd thing” about us is that we’re in something called a polyamorous relationship. And I would like to share our manifesto on living a happy and healthy polyamorous life.
An outline for loving relationships, a doctrine for intimate revolutionaries & relationship anarchists, and a reminder to myself to live each day authentically
* I respect that each connection in my life will find it’s own right place, time, and spirit – with an appreciative understanding that each connection evolves in unpredictable ways.
* I realize and value that there are all kinds of love, and not all of them are sexual. I will be open to all expressions of love. I will give and receive love freely and often.
* I do not believe in placing arbitrary limits on myself or others based on an understanding of love as a finite commodity. I firmly believe that the more love I give, the more it grows and that people have an unlimited capacity to love.
* I will strive to be aware of how social conditioning is effecting my responses to love, and work towards breaking bad habits so that love can be redefined, explored, and expressed without hindrance.
* I appreciate that each expression of love is special. I recognize that all love has value and that one kind of love can never be better than another.
* I will keep my heart open to receive love. I will keep my heart open to give love. I will not be afraid to explore and express love frequently in multiple ways. I will be open to vulnerability and intimacy. I will lower my shield to let love in and will slow down and listen when my shield goes up.
* I understand that people have varied needs, that one person can not fulfill all needs of another, and it is our responsibility to express and get our own needs met. I recognize that this builds community and connection, which is the goal and helps to spread love.
* I will encourage those I love to love more. I will be supportive when someone I love finds love or expresses love. I will look inward if any expression of love causes me to feel threatened or insecure. I will be open to being told I am not being supportive.
* I will examine my own fears and strive to not let them get in the way of expressing and experiencing love. I will listen with an open heart if someone’s honesty hurts me. I will strive to always respond with grace and speak authentically.
* I believe in being open to change and fluidity in relationships, even when it hurts. I believe love is the absence of guilt and fear. I believe love is acceptance that love involves choices.
* I recognize that love can become strained, love can be withheld, and love can be painful. I will strive to be honest with myself and others in order to remain compassionate to myself and others.
* I respect that love fosters deep bonds, and that expressions of love should be encouraged without the fear of threatening someone else’s comfort. I believe that compassion, safety, trust, and respect are essential to maintaining love.
* I believe that self-love is essential, and without out it, love is impossible.
Bag: Alexander Wang, Necklace: Handmade by my partner
Words by Paige Turner.
Photography by Victoria Chau
It’s late afternoon in Sydney. Two o’clock shadows and I’m swimming in coffees, overly loud conversations and the general hustle and bustle of the Jet Cafe. I order a peppermint tea. I’m ready to drown myself in conversation. Across from me sits Patrick of Patrick and the Deep End. The lead singer of this up and coming talent is no ordinary “fish in the pond”…he’s a siren. He wears a collared floral print shirt, a skull emblazoned knit and spectacles that highlight the slight twitch of creativity sparkling in his eyes. A musician, in the breed of passionate. His speaking voice engages me as we talk our way through polite introductions, niceties and we eventually get onto the stuff that you have to dive deeper for.
I ask him why “the Deep End“? In excuse of my own pun I remark that it is quite open-ended. His reply gleams in his eyes before it pours out of his mouth like song. The Deep End…it is the experience that I go through when I’m writing songs. An emotional experience, a quick peak and then a heavy descent or whatever. Originally it was a name for my “lows”. It’s also my boys. My band members. He then goes onto talk about the music he is creating. Standard artist talk. I find myself sitting on the alternative pop fence. The statement in itself is an oxymoron but that’s where I’m making it. Now it’s words about the way he writes his lyrics, something I’m particularly interested in. They’re clever, ironic and punchy in the bleeding-nose kind of way. I try not to write it too differently to the way I’m feeling. If I’m writing a song about a previous relationship of mine I would use the words I used in that relationship. I quickly interject with the word success.
He follows my drift and responds accordingly. I would hate songs that other people wrote for me. They would use words I wouldn’t use…I hardly use the word “love”. It’s overused and under valued in pop music. It takes a really good songwriter to say that without using that word…when I do use that word it comes with a heavy dose of sarcasm. The last sentiment spat out acidly. It is really then I sit up and take notice of this muso. He however is momentarily distracted. Looking out the window he checks out a strapping young lad in a fedora and bow tie. I watch as a smirk forms from one corner of his mouth to the other. Patrick is unapologetically gay but it’s not something he wants us writers to focus on. I’m happy being gay however at first I was not comfortable with the community. I don’t want people to focus on my sexuality… or make it a focus point. Only if they are talking about my music like Gay Divorcee ( a track that turns the marriage equality debate upside down and pokes a poking-fun stick at it). I find it difficult, especially if I’m grouped with others in the Sydney scene. There is mention of Brendan Maclean* (a local talent and friendly “rival”). I’m just a musician who happens to be gay.
I sip some more of my peppermint tea which at this point is as cold as the deep end. It’s the cue for Patrick to turn the tables on me. We talk fashion, as some sort of spin off to the discussion about his stage costumes. Jil Sander, The Antwerp Six and Gareth Pugh, the boy knows his stuff. I’m impressed more so than when I first witnessed him at The Imperial in Erskineville dancing and performing in costumes that could outfit The Knife. Outfits styled by the lead singer himself or generously given to him by fellow creatives. Amongst talk of taffeta and Walter Van Beirendonck, I’m the first to surface and end the conversation. Air feels good but I’m left wondering what the deep water just gave me. You’ll have to hear for yourself.
NEW Patrick and The Deep End EP coming out soon. Stay tuned.
* Dandy Sachs is also hoping to feature Brendan Maclean on this site very soon too.
Shirt custom made by Louisa Giffard. Photography by Rob Jones. All courtesy of the artist (Patrick and The Deep End)
What do you guys think of my new ‘do’? I’m excited to “outfit post”. Scrap the old format and hello to the new Murakami-esque retelling of how my outfit came together. Let’s do this the anti-establishment way. From the bottom up. The Lacoste Sport shoes I got on sale at a Glue store in the city. Funny that day I also received three pairs of Helmut Lang jeans from a kind soul (one of my managers – who bought them but never wore them)…I’m wearing the oatmeal colour. The same manager processed my staff purchase of the Bring Your Own bag by Prada I’m holding and subsequently use as my ‘work bag’. What a luxury! As luxurious as the Prada cardigan and jersey Calvin Klein tee I’m wearing. Within fashionable good, there’s formal and then there’s casual; there’s hip, there’s cool, there’s trendy, there’s snobbish*. I think I’ve successfully covered the six. What say you?
Feed me with feedback. P.L.E.A.S.E
Photography by Katrina Ethell (one of my best friends…captured only on my Samsung Galaxy S)
* Passage from Haruki Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance.
Talk is cheap. Even more so these days. The above represents a clutter. Some sort of mess I’m in. When I logged onto WordPress again (something I haven’t done so properly in a while) I was reminded of what this used to be about. If I take a look at the right hand side of my screen I see categories and then the memories of “fashion week”, “film work”, “styling work” all come flooding back. Flooding back to the horrendous soundtrack of Celine Dion’s It’s All Coming Back. Okay no not really. So I stand at another crossroad where I’m happy with the direction I’m going but I’m plagued by a dozen what ifs. Does one throw away practicality and financial security for the whim of fleeting creativity and exciting glamour? I have neglected my position at previous online fashion blogs, something I am ashamed of and regret. I have “abandoned” my post. What for? A buck. Am I an artist (be that in the form of a fashion director, writer, creative consultant etc) or a human being who has bills to pay, goals to save up for and daily needs that can only be satisfied by capital? I want to know… can you tell me?
As for now this post remains uncategorized