I’m not one who usually divulges about their personal life on the interwebs unless of course I’m on Facebook but many of you don’t have my Facebook. However there is one aspect of my life (besides fa-fa-fa-fashion) that I’m compelled to blog about and that’s my love life. You see both my fashion alter ego and my love life are some how intertwined. To put the rumours to rest Josh Beech and I are not an item and Lucas Ossendrijver was never a former ex. Hahaha! (JOKE). In reality my current partner is perhaps the reason why I’m working in fashion. He believed in me from the start and directed me to follow my dreams no matter how high. The “odd thing” about us is that we’re in something called a polyamorous relationship. And I would like to share our manifesto on living a happy and healthy polyamorous life.
An outline for loving relationships, a doctrine for intimate revolutionaries & relationship anarchists, and a reminder to myself to live each day authentically
* I respect that each connection in my life will find it’s own right place, time, and spirit – with an appreciative understanding that each connection evolves in unpredictable ways.
* I realize and value that there are all kinds of love, and not all of them are sexual. I will be open to all expressions of love. I will give and receive love freely and often.
* I do not believe in placing arbitrary limits on myself or others based on an understanding of love as a finite commodity. I firmly believe that the more love I give, the more it grows and that people have an unlimited capacity to love.
* I will strive to be aware of how social conditioning is effecting my responses to love, and work towards breaking bad habits so that love can be redefined, explored, and expressed without hindrance.
* I appreciate that each expression of love is special. I recognize that all love has value and that one kind of love can never be better than another.
* I will keep my heart open to receive love. I will keep my heart open to give love. I will not be afraid to explore and express love frequently in multiple ways. I will be open to vulnerability and intimacy. I will lower my shield to let love in and will slow down and listen when my shield goes up.
* I understand that people have varied needs, that one person can not fulfill all needs of another, and it is our responsibility to express and get our own needs met. I recognize that this builds community and connection, which is the goal and helps to spread love.
* I will encourage those I love to love more. I will be supportive when someone I love finds love or expresses love. I will look inward if any expression of love causes me to feel threatened or insecure. I will be open to being told I am not being supportive.
* I will examine my own fears and strive to not let them get in the way of expressing and experiencing love. I will listen with an open heart if someone’s honesty hurts me. I will strive to always respond with grace and speak authentically.
* I believe in being open to change and fluidity in relationships, even when it hurts. I believe love is the absence of guilt and fear. I believe love is acceptance that love involves choices.
* I recognize that love can become strained, love can be withheld, and love can be painful. I will strive to be honest with myself and others in order to remain compassionate to myself and others.
* I respect that love fosters deep bonds, and that expressions of love should be encouraged without the fear of threatening someone else’s comfort. I believe that compassion, safety, trust, and respect are essential to maintaining love.
* I believe that self-love is essential, and without out it, love is impossible.
Bag: Alexander Wang, Necklace: Handmade by my partner
Words by Paige Turner.
Photography by Victoria Chau